10:25 am - Yesterday I got pretty tired so I didn’t write a lot of details about the day’s activities. I did have a good time and I thank God so much for filling me with His Spirit and speaking through me to the ladies. I can never tell for sure how the people here are receiving the Word while I am still teaching, but afterwards some of them will let you know. Pastor Tobias was very pleased and thankful. All I know is that my flesh is weak. I still feel tired/emotional like jet-lag and homesickness combined. I know it’s spiritual and I know the culture shock and stress of re-entering the field after being gone for several months is definitely a key factor, but I’m alone - no wife, no kids, no friends - and so it's more difficult because it’s just me and my flesh and I have to recognize it and crucify it and ask the Lord to continually fill me with His Spirit just to make it through a meal sometimes. Last night was a good example. After the long day and the ugali at Tobias’ tukul that I really didn’t care for, we finally made it back to Nimule to the compound. I really wanted some comfort food (like the Coke I had been craving all day) and was nervous to see what had been made for dinner (because typically it's rice, beans, and ugali). So I went to the dining area and lo and behold it was rice, beans, and ugali! It was emotionally deflating. I found some bread rolls left over from breakfast and some left over peanut butter from the visiting teams that were here and I made a couple of peanut butter rolls. When that got to the point where my mouth was sticking together too much, I put some rice and beans on a plate and covered them with salt, Tabasco, and a little ketchup (again, left over from the teams) and downed that. The only soda I could find was bitter lemon (tastes just like the name - made with quinine to be extra bitter) and I could only stand to drink about a quarter of that. I washed it all down with some water and went to my room with my taste buds depressed and my spirits a bit low. That’s when I wrote the last journal entry. This morning was better on the food front. There were “pancakes”. I only put them in quotes because the grain here is a bit different so the pancakes are thin, dense, and rubbery. Not that they're bad. They're actually quite good. I smothered two of them with Skippy Super Chunk peanut butter and Albertson’s fake maple syrup (thanks again to the recently departed team). It was just what the doctor ordered. A LITTLE VARIETY! I had chai (black tea with lots of sugar and cream - although there's no masala to put in it) with it and was very satisfied. It’s funny how a little bit of comfort food after the monotony of rice and beans can really brighten your day. Last night I never heard from Carrie and the kids, and then I finally got a text that she tried to call four times. I called her and told her the reception was bad and only spoke briefly. I miss her so much. Her and the kids mean so much to me and I just wish I could be with them. She had them yell “I love you” all at once. I need to be such a better father! I absolutely cannot believe what a terrible husband and father I became while staying in the U.S. the past several months.
God, please forgive me and cleanse me and change me and empower me by Your Spirit to be the best husband and father ever. Please Lord, I need Your grace in this area.
Now I have to study to teach tomorrow’s church service. I will be teaching from Philippians 4 about true, Biblical joy.
9:12 pm - I rested quite a bit today. I listened to music and prepared to teach the church service tomorrow. It was a relaxing day. Darn... They shut the generator off early and now all of the bugs have switched from the light bulb on the ceiling to my computer screen! Gotta go.
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