Deciphering Sorrow through the Din (Journal Entry)

4:20 pm - It’s Sunday. The power went off around 9 or 10 PM last night and it’s been off ever since. I wasn’t feeling well this morning and have been home all day, with the exception of finding some food to eat for brekfast/lunch. I’ve been fiddling with broken electronics to pass the time this afternoon and to keep my mind from locking in on the loneliness of this empty house. Without the sounds of the children playing inside and out - talking, laughing, asking questions, and giving me their advice - and without Carrie’s smile and warm presence, this house seems more like a tomb than a home. So I was taking apart a voltage stabilizer that blew up in order to scavenge useful parts. It’s amazing how many great little screws, nuts and bolts, switches, small lights, pieces of wire, and power plugs you can scavenge from something! After I finished with that, I moved on to modifying a cheap battery backup unit I bought in town last year to be able to use an old gigantic truck battery I found left over from the last tenant of this house. Whilst turning screws, clipping wires, and getting very creative with electrical tape, I realized something. I realized that for some time now, over the somewhat muffled sound of the U.N. office’s enormous generator next door, I had been hearing an unusual sound. It’s strange when you hear something, but then realize that you’ve been hearing it for a while now without consciously recognizing it. So I tuned my conscious thoughts to the frequency of the sound and was able to make out what sounded like wailing, mixed with laughter, mixed with talking. The confusion of sounds either overwhelmed my conscious mind with too many mixed signals to know what exactly was going on, or it was just too lazy to care. Because shortly after pausing to listen, I turned my attention back to my electronic autopsy. A short while later the sounds in the background once again forced their way into the part of my mind that actually cares and is also curious. So I stopped again and went to the opened front door and stood at the screen. I listened carefully and was sure that I was hearing wailing, but then also, and almost at the same time, laughter. It was the kind of laughter that people laugh when someone has done or said something funny and you’re laughing at them. Because the wailing was so diametrically different from any sound that you would here in conjunction with mocking laughter, I again decided that I was just not hearing things right and everything was okay. After all, there were many people laughing. A while later, after growing weary of the “no electricity” situation, I decided to drive into town to get some fuel and parts to try and get the old little “knock-off” generator we have to work (I’m still working on getting a new one and hope to have it by the end of the month). As I pulled away, I noticed some people at a nearby house talking and laughing and realized that this must have been the talking and laughing I had been hearing. Then I thought, “But why did I think there was wailing? Have I lost my mind?” As I continued down the dirt road another 100 meters, turned right at the bend and continued another 100 meters, and then turned left onto the main road and continued another 200 meters, suddenly there it was the again! Wailing! It was a woman. It was coming from my left and it was louder than I had heard it all day. It was incessant. It was deep and sorrowful and heartfelt. It was actually painful to listen to, causing an automatic sympathetic sickness in my gut. It was coming from Maweni hospital, which is situated due north of my house, about 500 meters! For a couple of hours I had been hearing the neighbors, just one door down, outside of their home talking and laughing. But mixed in with the familial, familiar, and joyful sounds of Sunday afternoon banter, was the horrid howl of a family suffering bitter loss, and that coming from a quarter of a mile away! To feel the pain of loss so deeply and completely that it cannot be contained and can be heard such a long distance away for so long a time... I could only imagine that it was a mother and her family mourning the loss of a child. Probably another case of malaria, TB, meningitis, or AIDS. I don’t want to know that pain - the pain of losing a child - but I feel that today my soul was penetrated by sound, and for the second time in my life I tasted of it, just a little.

Bats in the Belfry

Before we left Kigoma for furlough several months ago, I noticed a noise in the attic, just above the sitting room. After listening carefully and investigating further, we determined that some bats had made their way into the attic. I didn't care much for the idea of having bats in the attic, but there were only a few of them and I just didn't have time to deal with it. I put it off until it was too late, and then we left for furlough.

Upon returning home to Kigoma, I found that their were no longer a few bats in the attic. There were hundreds! They were everywhere up there. Through a local friend of mine, I was able to find a man who was the closest thing we have here to a fumigator. He brought over a bunch of poison and a motorized backpack blower to blow the poison throughout the attic. This is the hard stuff that kills all bugs and rodents present. The idea is that the bats will flee from the poison and then you simply block whatever hole or holes they were using to get into the attic. He wasn't able to get the backpack contraption into the attic because it's such a short space. So he sent his young apprentice into the attic with a spray bottle full of poison and a gas mask. The poor young guy was up there for over an hour spraying. When they were spraying in the north end of the attic, they said about 100 or 200 bats flew out. Then they moved to the south end of the house, above the sitting room, and another couple of hundred came out. There were three to four hundred bats living up there!

They proceeded to try and block the holes so the bats couldn't return. They blocked the obvious ones, but then realized that the smaller bats could squeeze in between the small gaps where the corrugated metal roofing met the edge beam of the house. They stuffed a bunch of plastic bags and cardboard pieces into the gaps until they ran out of plastic and cardboard.

Later that night, after returning from a Bible study, I could here and see tons of bats squeaking and flying around the front and sides of the house. I stood there and watched for a bit as they flew at the house toward the various holes they had been forced out of and were now unable to get back in through. It was freaky having the bats fly right at me and then suddenly divert when their radar said, "Warning, enormous man dead ahead." But it was so satisfying to watch them try and get back into the attic without success. I then realized that I had my camera handy, so I took the following photo.

On the right is part of the roof line of the house, where the corrugated metal roofing meets the beam in the front of the house. The bat in the foreground had just attempted to return "home" and was flying away in failure. The bat in the background was on his way in for the attempt. Hundreds of them tried for a couple of hours. Most gave up, but unfortunately some of the smaller ones found a way back in. You can't buy caulking, or those small wooden strips that match the ripples of the corrugated metal in order to close the gaps. It's time I started collecting plastic bags and cardboard scraps. The house is going to look really funny, but if that's the only way to keep them out then so be it!

If any of you know of some surefire way to discourage bats from taking up residence in your belfry, please don't hesitate to let me know.

Restored Vision

I was coming back from town today and made a small detour to look around the area a bit for just a few minutes and the Lord began answering a prayer I've had of late. He began to give me a heart and vision for the people again. Not that I had completely lost it, but it had become dim from being gone for so long. It's so refreshing to remember in my heart and soul why we're here and to be excited about what the Lord will do, rather than to just restate to myself what I tell people when they ask why we're here. It may sound small, but it's so important to have the same love, passion, and vision for the work that the Lord has, in addition to the willing and obedient heart.

Thank You Lord for Your faithfulness.

"For if we died with Him,
We shall also live with Him.
If we endure,
We shall also reign with Him.
If we deny Him,
He also will deny us.
If we are faithless,
He remains faithful;
He cannot deny Himself."
2 Timothy 2:11-13

"He who calls you is faithful, who will also do it."
1 Thessalonians 5:24

September 2008 Update

Nimule, Sudan. Having completed my time in Nimule, Sudan (technically it’s ‘Southern Sudan’ or ‘New Sudan’), I’ve traveled back through Uganda and then on to Tanzania and finally home to Kigoma. My time in Sudan was great. I got to meet so many wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ, serving the Lord and each other in this war-ravaged part of the world. While I was quite safe at all times, it wasn’t that many years ago that there were regular bombings on this small town and upon the FRM compound in particular. The military of the North, using Russian Antonov airplanes, would fly low and release steel drums (the 50 gallon variety) full of explosive and shards of metal. The idea was not just to incinerate them, but to terrorize and torture as many people as possible with deadly, painful, gaping wounds that would still eventually lead to death. Every person I’ve met - and I’d imagine every person over 10 years of age - knows not only what the Antonov looks like from a distance, but exactly what it sounds like. The Antonov was also used by relief organizations to bring food and medical supplies. I can’t imagine having to wonder, each time I heard the all-to-familiar sound of the Antonov, if this was a harbinger of life or death. But the truly amazing thing, and the very reason I even mention the terrible history of this region, is that the Sudanese believers who live and serve here in Southern Sudan as pastors and chaplains and other ministry leaders do not behave as a terrorized people, and angry people, a vengeful people, a fearful people, or any other negative adjective you can imagine. The men and women who run the FRM compound in Nimule, and the other Chaplains and pastors that formerly graduated from the training school here, are truly inspirational in there steadfast hope - not in politics, military campaigns, governments, or the like - but in Jesus Christ. They simply amaze me with there knowledge of Scripture, willingness to be used by the Lord, and commitment to bringing Christ to the nation of Sudan.

The flag at the compound in Nimule representing the Chaplain Corps of the region of Equatoria, Southern Sudan

There is a maturity in Christ and as men in general that these former graduates of the Chaplain and Pastors Training School in Nimule possess. It was such a blessing to serve along side them, and to be able to teach and influence the new class of students (Class 7) to be the same type of

Teaching Genesis to Class 7 of the Chaplains and Pastors

men: Godly husbands, Godly fathers, Godly leaders, Godly examples of Christ and His redeeming love and grace. Please remember to pray for the current students, as many of them come for chaplain training without truly even knowing Christ. Maybe they were raised by “christian” parents, but they’ve never actually recognized their personal sin and called upon the grace of God in Jesus Christ for forgiveness. This class has just begun (I was the very first teacher of Class 7), and there is testimony of former students who did not give their lives to Christ until they had been there for three months! Also, remember to pray for the former graduates of Classes 1-6, as they serve the Lord by bringing the good news of Christ’s grace and hope to the battle-hardened hearts and often conscience-seared minds of the men of the SPLA. Some of the former graduates have even left active duty to plant churches in their home villages, like Pastor Tobias, who has planted Maranatha Chapel in Pageri. I had the opportunity to visit the church on a Friday for their weekly women’s Bible study. Normally Vicky Bentley, one of the Nimule staff, or Pastor Tobias will teach the study, but since I was here they asked me to come and share. It’s about and hour and a half drive North from Nimule towards Juba (the captial of Southern Sudan). Vicky had left off at Luke 22, so I was blessed with the opportunity to teach them about the “Lord’s Supper”. I had a great time. There were so many ladies there that the

Maranatha Chapel Pageri, Southern Sudan

entire church was packed! In the two weeks previous to my arrival, there had been a team visiting from Maranatha Chapel in San Diego had held a women’s conference in Pageri and many new ladies had given their lives to Christ during the conference. So I got to teach to a

Half of the ladies at the Bible Study (this picture is of the right side of the building only)

FULL HOUSE. The culture of the church in America - at least in Southern California - is one in which men rarely, if ever, teach a women’s Bible Study. But here, they consider it a blessing and an honor to have a man come and teach them. Reciprocally, it was a blessing and an honor for me.

Kigoma, Tanzania. Now that I’m back in Kigoma there is much to do. Teaching, working on the house to prepare it for the family, visiting villages both here in Tanzania and also in Congo (if God wills), and immigration paperwork to prepare for the new baby to be added to my work permit. It’s a bit overwhelming, and, to be honest, I miss Carrie and the kids terribly. So please pray for strength for all of us. Also, please pray for God to give us clear vision as to what things He wants us to do and in what order of priority. There are so many open doors that we just can’t walk through them all. We continue to ask Him, and to ask you to ask Him, for co-laborers in this endeavor. It’s nice to be back though, and to see the brothers and sisters at Calvary Chapel Kigoma. They are doing well and still meeting in the same small unfinished house on the hill in Mlole with the tarp roof.

Calvary Chapel Kigoma, Tanzania

Southern California, USA. Carrie and the kids are doing well. Carrie’s hands are VERY full with the kids and her pregnancy, but we communicate regularly and God is giving her the grace to handle it. All of her check-ups with the OB/GYN have been good, with the baby growing normal and healthy. She has even managed to somehow have the strength to have one, and even two, of the kids’ friends over to spend the night. I know that made the kids really happy. Carrie is plugging away at the homeschooling and the boys seem to be doing very well. Kevan and Keenan will be taking a test soon to give us an idea of how they’re doing compared to the “norm”. The test is actually an older one that’s harder than the ones they use today. For some reason the U.S. Education system keeps making their aptitude/achievement tests easier all the time. You can pray that the kids will continue to do well in their schooling as well as on the tests. Jada is getting big and growing up fast. With three older brothers she’s learned to be stubborn and independent at an early age so that she can hold her own. When I talk to the family on the phone and it’s her turn to talk, Carrie will put the phone up to her ear so it’s placed correctly so she can hear me, but she will grab it from Carrie and say, “Me do it.” It’s so cute (I’m sure I won’t think so when she’s a little older), and makes me miss her so much. But I know the Lord is keeping us all in His grace and love and we will be reunited soon.

Praises and Prayer...
- Please join with us in praising the Lord for His goodness to us in providing for our daily needs.
- We also want to thank Him for a healthy pregnancy for Carrie thus far and pray for a continued blessing upon Carrie and the baby in her womb; that the pregnancy, labor, and delivery would all go well.
- Please continue to pray for provision for the ministry in Africa, that we can stay busy, and be able to stay for a long time without having to think about finances.
- Please pray for Jon’s health and safe travels in July, August, and September as he ministers in East Africa.
- Please pray for Carrie and the kids as they stay behind in the States during these months, that the Lord would grant them peace and safety and bless their time together.
- Praise the Lord for His goodness in providing a vehicle for us to use when we are in the States. - Please pray that it will run strong and problem-free for Carrie and the kids while I’m not there.
- We really need language training in order to be more effective in Tanzania. Please make this a matter of prayer on our behalf, as this will cost a few thousand dollars if this is what God wants us to do.
- Lastly, please pray for the funds for a new phone/modem. The Nokia phone that we’ve used for the past two years is about to “give up the ghost”. This is our line to the outside world for both voice calls and Internet/Email access. A new one costs a few hundred dollars (there are no contracts in Africa to offset the cost).